You have got to be the most cynical person I have EVER met. I actually can't even handle it. And really, if you don't give a shit and just pretend to, then I don't understand anything you've said the past 3 years. Why do you even bother to pretend? If you don't care, you should have told me a long time ago. I may be whiny and I may have a slight melodramatic problem but something is bothering me and right now I can't even tell exactly what it is. I am having issues. I want to talk to someone about it, I know who I would like to tell but there is obviously no point. Girls are obviously just whiny little bitches who like to talk about their feelings. It isn't that I take these things too seriously, but honestly that was so over the top cynical and just flat out weird. What was with that little rant? Do you hate kids? I don't know. I don't get it. I'm sorry if I am annoying you. I'll just leave it alone. You don't care.
Wow it sure seems like a lot of people don't care these days. I am so glad to hear that you care about nothing. "Do you care about Millie?" "I don't care about anything". Well how come you act like you care? It's really misleading. I don't know what to think. What is more important, more accurate, your voice or your actions? My instincts are telling me to trust your actions, but why would you be making that up? Everything is about distraction for you, I know that. But why can't you care? If you don't care, why do you put any effort into my happiness and well-being? I may not always be able to depend on you, but you're a part of my life whether either of us like it or not. And you are not the worst part.
If you do decide to leave, I will always love you. It doesn't matter whether you care about me, because I will always care about you. I guess it's clear who I get that from. I just want you to be happy.
I am hopeful that everything bad in my life will make itself better. But like everyone, I have my doubts.
And completely unrelated, but thank goodness you have an english accent or I would really not like you. Actually, I can't say I am thrilled with this situation. With this "problem that will never go away and will never get better". Glad you were so bluntly honest about it. I wish it would go away, but really I don't think it's as big a deal as everyone makes it seem. My little "disability" whatever you want to call it, it doesn't change who I am. Stop making it seem like it does!
I am worried, and as always it is a little bit irrational. I am scared I will be alone for the rest of my life.
On saturday I am graduating. And right now I really don't want to go. It is no reason not to go, but how much do I wish my sister could be there. And oh my god how much do I miss her.
