Sometimes the possibilities overwhelm me. I know it should be a good thing, I have choices, I have options. Except tonight I found myself wondering, how do I know whether this moment is where I am supposed to be? What if at this very moment I am supposed to be miles away, on the other side of the world, across the universe? How will I ever know whether this life I am living is better or worse than another life I could have lived? I want to know that I am living my life as best as I can. But there is no way to know. I could say that happiness is the result I should look for, but happiness is hard to find, especially when I am truly looking. Happiness is one of those sneaky, silent things that eludes us when we most want to see it displayed before our eyes. Real happiness is the feeling that you are so content in that you hardly notice it is real. It is only once it has passed you by that you begin to understand the act of sustenance it played in your life. And then you find yourself looking back, wistfully longing and wishing for more.
It is possible to be lost at the same time as happy. I am both.
