So it has been a little less than a week since I last worked which has caused me to go into panic mode because I officially feel lazy and guilty for not earning any money. I am going to be a workaholic who never allows myself any time off.
But then today I talked to my uncle and a small miracle took place called he has offered to help me with my tuition for school! I think God is on my side! Thank jesus! I can actually breathe now and relax slightly since I won't be working only to see every penny go towards school and books. This semester depending on how much work I get I can either focus my time and energy on school, or I can work a bit and save for other things ie. travel. I realized today (I am dumb) I'm actually taking 5 course this semester since my lab is 3 hours a week and is completely separate and I get 3 credits for it as well. So as my pyschology teacher said, 5 courses is basically like a full time job since we are supposed to put in 40 hours a week of in class and out of class time. Pfft that won't happen but at least 30 hours will. So I guess what I'm trying to say is if I am working a bit it is possible but not entirely necessary since I want to do well in my classes otherwise there is no point and I'm just wasting my money.
I also want to write about my plan. Actually the plan is non existent at this point but I plan to have a plan soon! Sounds like a plan. No but really, I realized that although too much planning is just unnecessary (since life kind of gets in the way), a bit of planning is good. I guess I realized that maybe I should start thinking about my career because to just go to school for the sake of going to school will only last for so long, I guess at most until my 2 year program is over. I need a goal or else I will get bored and won't feel like I have anything to work towards. Maybe it seems a bit late to be talking about this seeing as most people I know already know what they want to be and are already taking the steps to get there. Yeah, I'm behind. But there is something I would love to do (I think). I have ruled out being a teacher because I just don't think I would like it that much. Writing as a career is not what I want to do because the kind of writing I like is difficult to do as full time job (ex creative writing, not journalism). Well to be honest I can't picture myself being anything or doing anything for the rest of my life except for my urban planet job which frankly isn't an option. Well maybe retail is an option but I think I need something a little more .. just different. Why is it that everyone knows what they want to be? Even as a kid I never really knew all I said was "I want to be a cashier person" or "I want to be in the circus" or "I want to be either an artist or a chef". But really they were just dreams or more like dreams for the sake of having dreams because in school the teacher always asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I never thought past that, never thought about what those jobs actually involved. I think there may have been a short period where I wanted to be a vet but it passed quickly.
So what can I do about it now? I'm already feeling pretty far behind. My mum tells me a lot of people don't know right away. My pysch teacher told us she had no idea at 18, she didn't even think she was going to go to university. She said all she did was play tennis and babysit, she didn't have a job and had no skills other than tennis. And now she is a university professor. It didn't happen by itself obviously, but it happened nonetheless. What am I supposed to do, pick a career out of a hat? I'm considering it. No, the only thing I can think of is a lawyer. But to be honest I do not feel smart enough or .. outgoing enough. I can't really picture myself in that position but I do know that I find law fascinating and it gives me a bit of a thrill and I get really excited just thinking about it (too honest? yup always). Law 12 was by far my favourite class in high school and now my other classes don't really come close. But to read about it is one thing and to be it is another. I guess I have some researching to do.
Maybe I should stick to the pick a career out of a hat option.
