realization

What I love: The sudden realization that I am not as alone as I thought I was. I kept thinking how unfair it was that all my friends have siblings and they are continuing to grow closer, and they have all of these potential memories still to be had, whereas mine is all in the past. But then the other night when I went to my cousins I was feeling strangely close to her, closer than I've felt to her in a long time. The more we talked the more I thought about it, and I swear it was like something just switched inside of me, maybe I finally opened up and let her in to my heart. She is basically a sister, we grew up together, it was always me and her, or me her and my sister. As we got older we became different, I no longer felt like we related to each other, we seemed so unlike one another. But that shouldn't matter because she is my family, she is really all I have left, and no doubt the closest thing I have to a sister (who is actually a blood relative). We were talking about Finland and all the great memories we're going to make, and thinking about being with her for a whole month straight actually made me extremely happy. I want her to know me better, and I want to know her better. I don't want the relationship that my aunt and mum have, they love each other but there is always this wall. I know I can never really lose my cousin because she's family, but I don't want to drift apart. I love my cousin and hope we can become even closer. <3