friends

This has nothing to do with my trip but that's ok. Sometimes I just get so completely overwhelmed with emotion, and in such a good way. It's so cheesy but I love my life and even more importantly I love the people in it. It's such a good feeling to know that my friends will always be looking out for me, thinking of me, laughing with me, talking with me. Although there are two sides to this, I try to always look at the positive side. I guess having already lost so many people in my life that I love it sometimes terrifies me to be close to anyone. Sometimes I think, if I wasn't close to anyone, then I would have nothing to lose. But that's such a lousy way to think, and to live. And so I am trusting the people I love to stay with me. I know that sometimes it is not up to us, but I am trusting them to just be the good, immortal people that I want them to be. It is selfish, but I just don't want to lose anyone else I care about. I don't want to go through that pain because honestly, I don't think I have the strength to go through any more losses in my life. I am ready to heal and to be happy and the strength that I have now is as much strength as I'll ever have. How can you tell this is my writing, I can never stay on track with whatever I was talking about. The point is, I really wish I was rich so I could buy my friends a bunch of cheap-o crappy rip-the-tourist-off souvenirs. No, but actually, when I'm shopping in Old Town I keep seeing so many cute little souvenirs I seriously wish I was rich because I would have so much fun buying random crap for my friends. And it makes me realize how much I love them and how great they really are. And that includes the girl who thinks she is not always included. Because I love you, and you're awesome! And I would say that I had a lot of fun with you that night we went out, except that's not entirely true. Actually I don't really remember. I think it might have been kind of fun! Probably not for you though haha. But I really want you to know how happy I am that we're friends, and I can't wait to celebrate your birthday with you! P.S. for all my friends, I really wanted to buy you guys shot glasses from San Diego because I thought that would be really funny but my mum won't let me :(