So here's the thing.
I like to talk about me. That can easily translate to: I like to write about me. I like to analyze and I like to rant. I would like to be able to do that freely and openly on my blog. I made another blog for that purpose and I've written on it somewhat regularly, but the fact of the matter is, I hate feeling like I have to hide things from my friends. So no, I'm not telling you what that blog is called, it's still anonymous to all but one person and will stay that way because some secrets are best kept that way. But I do think I need to focus my attention on this blog and not neglect it like has happened in the past. The past month that has been spent working I tried really hard to do the blog-every-day goal, and although I felt like I was being somewhat faithful to my blog, not really. It started to feel like a chore and not something that I was enjoying. My writing was getting so bla, my blog posts were boring and pointless and basically just became complaints about my day to day activities. So what is my point. Well maybe it is just in this moment but I feel like I have a lot to say lately and I want to say it. I don't want to feel afraid because you guys are my friends and are supposed to be my best friends and I need to get my thoughts out in the open even if it's just to you guys. I have to admit I've been feeling a little weird lately and by weird I mean antisocial and distant and kind of like I don't care about my relationships with people as much as I should. Maybe I've even been resentful or spiteful or something. I can't really explain why. It's just a funk but I still want to write. Plus, I hate feeling like I have to sugarcoat things and maybe it's good to be optimistic but why can't I just be honest.
So would you like to hear about my day today? Probably not but I'm telling you anyways. This morning I woke up at 7:30 am and was freaking out because it was so late and my throat was burning and I wanted to get to school on time so I threw on my clothes and flew out the door and left by 8 am. When I got there the parking meter was broken so I had to walk to the other parking lot and it charges 2 dollars more so I payed and walked back to my car then sped off to class. I didn't have time to pack breakfast or lunch so.....
Okay wait. This is where I need to stop. Seriously I hate writing a long list of my complaints. Sure my day sucked. So did half the worlds. I need to change my attitude. I need to change my outlook. I'm really tired of being negative and the number one thing I'm tired of is having such low self esteem. It is seriously a problem.
And since I'm pretty much A.D.D I'm already distracted and bored by this blog post. How about I carry on with this later. Good riddance.
