
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
day two: how have you changed in the past 2 years?
This one is a little harder. Well I can say I have changed a lot, maybe not in noticeable ways but the change is there. The past two years... so 2 years ago today I was in grade 11. Grade 11 was nothing special. But I did get my first job that summer, and then another job working at my dance studio. Both of those experiences really really helped me to be more outgoing in terms of "customer service" and just in terms of conversing with strangers. School in grade 12 was different as well. I felt less shy and more able to be myself. But I also was antsy, so ready to leave high school, anticipating the real world. Grad camping was crazy and a complete disaster but I really feel that I learned a lot from it. Graduation was incredible. Grad was one of the best nights of my life. I have never had that much fun, seriously never. It's one of those experiences that I wish I could repeat yet I know if I did it would ruin the magic. Summer of 2011 was also amazing. I traveled a lot: Naramata, Shuswap, Montana Lake, Oregon, Mayne Island, camping. Then university started and everything changed. I moved to Coquitlam, got a job, got a car (in the summer), and now I am happily going to school 4 courses and working. So what has changed? Well my life has changed. But how have I changed? I have gotten stronger, more independent, crazier. I want more out of life, I won't allow others to walk all over me. At work when the guy came in trying to steal I stood up to him, I scared him a little bit I think. I think the fiery spirit I had so much when I was young is really coming back. I don't want to settle for less. I think back to times in high school when I could have been more assertive and I really believe I would be now. Like when I apologized to a girl after grad camping and she was really mad and annoyed. I shouldn't have apologized, it wasn't my fault?! I should have stuck up for myself. Besides, if I don't do it then who will? I think I have become less shy, and happier. I don't cry as often, if ever, and maybe that doesn't always mean a person is happier but it is the case for me. I feel better. I enjoy life more. And I am definitely stronger. I feel like there is nothing that could really bring me down. I have become a dreamer, I have plans and goals and I am so excited to make them happen. I like that I am more independent now, and ready to take on the world. I have become way more confident in who I am. I no longer always look in the mirror and think I am hideous, and I may even like what I see. I am more comfortable with my body. I am learning to love myself, flaws and all. I have changed and will continue to change. And I am totally 100 percent OK with that.